im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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