come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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