Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
