and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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