he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
