yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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