Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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