i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Did I show you my penis last night?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
