i just had sex bonerless
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
