this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
