i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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