The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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