On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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