i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
