That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
