I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize