If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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