Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize