So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
