My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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