Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
