I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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