Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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