my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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