Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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