Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
