Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
