drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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