I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize