I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
