the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
