so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
