i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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