I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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