yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
