Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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