4 words: hood of his car
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
