Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
where does the pee come out of this thing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
