So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
