I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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