like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize