I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
