So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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