ugly people sure do ruin things
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
