wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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