I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
