Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
