So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
