PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
