using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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