My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize