You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
