I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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