Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
