Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
