Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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