I'm lost and stupid without you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
