stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was like eating out sand paper
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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