i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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