Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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