hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
