so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
