laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
