I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
