This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
