i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
