She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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